First time i've really smiled in years
by claire svu fan
Summary: Carter makes a bad choice. regreting it, she finds her self on the brink of disintegration at an SGC reunion. SJ
1. Chapter 1

"This is idiotic." I say to myself as I stare down at my feet, they swing freely in the breeze wishing to fly off with the wind. The shoes dangle from the straps un-naturally, though the weight distribution is off between the two as my right heel has snapped off. Ten years ago I rarely wore heels, I always wore boots. I always dressed for combat as I worked at the SGC. I never dressed like this. I never would have worn a provocative dress like this. Not in front of him anyway. Ten years ago at the SGC, everything between us was awkward yet frivolous and irritatingly uncertain. It was adorable, but that's changed now. Everything he says seems rehearsed and distant. His cynicism has vanished, though I'm not sure if that's a bad thing. It is. Any change is bad. I fell for his wacky antics and lighthearted appeal. He is mechanical and lifeless today. I thought I saw a spark of hope in his eyes when I accepted his offer of dance but the reality hit him and he couldn't stand the closeness between us as we moved across the dance floor.

I miss what we had. I destroyed that.

There is almost hate between us now and it kills me to see this go on. It kills everyone who ever knew of our prohibited love.

"Samantha" my husband calls me from the limousine. A twenty year old slut is clinging to his arm, telling him to leave me behind. He knows that I am aware of his many affairs and doesn't bother to hide them. For five years I have been sleeping in the spare bedroom while his 'girl of the week' stays with him in our bed. Over the years of our marriage he has become more and more like just an annoying roommate to me. He won't touch me though. He knows I detest him and if he tried to force himself upon me, I wouldn't hesitate to kill him. I've tried for a divorce but he wouldn't sign and I didn't have the energy to go through court over the matter. Now I just live around him, barely ever talking to him and kicking myself when we pose as a happy couple for the cameras. How I got into this mess, I don't know. I was tricked by roses and charisma; and the need to break free from the impossible love I was holding out for. I made a mistake in accepting his proposal. I wish I'd married Jack! My real love.

"Samantha, are you coming home tonight?" my husband asks me. He has wondered over to my side and his tart is watching from the limousine

"No" I mutter my reply, still staring down at my broken heel

"Well me and… what's her name?" he slurs

"Vanessa"I reply. His drunken idiocy is amusing

"Yes I and Vanessa are going back to the hotel. you can find your own way back cant you dear?" he asks placing a hand on my shoulder

"I'll be fine" I turn to him and glance back at the limousine.

"That's my girl" he pats my back sounding satisfied. He places his arms around me and gently kisses me on the forehead

"There's no camera's" I warn him

"I know, you looked like you needed a hug and I was just being courteous" he smiles as he stands up

"That's a laugh" my tone is dripping with disdain.

"Come away from the edge dear, anyone would think you were going to make an attempt on your life" he says grabbing onto my wrist. I rip my arm out of his grasp

"Leave me!" I snap and he shakes his head at my out burst. He hates not having power over me and I recklessly test his patient's everyday. He looks across the deck of the ferry that the reunion was held on. The party is still going on upstairs but few people are actually up there. The ferry has docked now and many people are driving off of the ferry. My husband retreats to his Vanessa. The limousine leaves and I'm left alone to stare blankly at my feet. I sigh and take off my wedding ring, placing it beside me. The waters below me are still deep but the drop alone couldn't kill me. An attempt on my life would prove futile. I stand and almost slip as I expect the broken heel to still be there. I steady myself and move away from the edge. I reach over and grab the ring and stand ready to drop it into the water. A creak in the floor boards behind me stops me.

"What do you want Jack?" I ask gruffly. I had hesitated to drop the sir at first but I eventually got used to addressing him informally.

"How did you know it was me?" he asks plainly

"Only you would approach with caution" I mutter wiping my eyes "well Daniel might but he didn't come" I say turning around. There's pain in my eyes that anyone else would freak out over but Jack is blind to my emotion.

"I'm about to leave, figured I might as well say my goodbyes. Where's the mister?" he asks seemingly uninterested

"He left with your daughter" I smirk and his brow-line creases in confusion "his latest college drop-out for a girlfriend" I can't be bothered lying for my pathetic husband

"Oh" he mouths "I didn't think he was as charming as the pictures portrayed"

"You're the first" I smile tossing the ring in my hand and catching it like it was baseball

"What's that?" he asks hesitantly

"My wedding ring" I reply and then turn back to the waters and toss it as far out into the waters as I can. He stares wide eyed

"I hadn't heard you two were getting a divorce" he states edging closer

"Were not" I sigh and Jack looks at me questioningly "I know, it's stupid to stay with him but I've thought it over and I don't really care anymore so just spare me the grief"

"You ever tried?" he asks standing next to me. I nod.

"He wouldn't sign" I smile clenching my teeth "I didn't want anything from the marriage and we have separate bank accounts but he didn't want his precious reputation slain over a divorce"

"Why not just leave?" he suggests

"And go where? Another planet?" I roll my eyes at the thought

"It's an option Sam!" he snaps. The first time I've seen him show real emotion since the SGC. My choice to stay in that house can't possibly be that outrageous.

"I rarely go to the house. When he's there I try not to be and when I'm there he stays away. The unusual occasions where we're both under the same roof, we're separated by solid walls and locked doors. I've made the spare bedroom my permanent residence" I explain trying to reassure him

"You two have been married for what seven years?" he asks casually

"Nine" I correct him but I know he's pretending he didn't know

"You never tried to have kids?"

"He never wanted kids. It's a good thing that there aren't any kids to witness this, it's a good thing he doesn't have to be a father" I scowl. Why am I talking to him about this, he's the last person I want to know how much I've screwed up.

"Why am I telling _you_ this?" I ask shaking my head. I'm a mess.

"Because I'm listening" he shrugs

"You listen but you never understand me" I laugh. It isn't funny but I laugh anyway, I laugh in pain.

"That's not entirely true. I understood that, I think" he jokes and I smile. The fist time he's made me smile in years. Probably the first time I've smiled and meant it in as long. I'm never happy anymore.

"How could you understand me? I've chosen to live in hell. I don't understand me" I murmur. Tears have made them selves apparent; probably smudging my make up. I get all dressed up and feel so dreadful.

"I don't understand your decision Samantha and I don't approve but I'll support you if you need me" he smiles "to, if you need me to" he corrects himself and I smile. Second time. He suddenly seems half way like the man I knew before we went our separate ways.

"Sir?" I ask dropping my guard. Like it could be dropped any further.

"Sam?" he asks creasing his brow

"Jack" I correct myself smiling. Third time.

"Sam?" he asks getting me back on focus. How can this man make me hate him for so long yet make me love him with just one word? I shift closer to him and bring my lips to his kissing him. He's stunned but doesn't fight. The kiss deepens. I'm actually breathless when our lips break free.

"First kiss that's made my whole body tingle since way before my marriage" I murmur unknowingly

"Sam?" he asks shocked and I blush. I dropped my guard too far. "You want to get a drink? Or four" he asks smiling

"Why not? I'm a single girl" I smile back "I dare you to challenge me on that" I warn and he laughs

"Don't worry Sam, I'll make him sign" he assures me as he leads me up to the bar upstairs. I link my fingers with his. Is this hope?


	2. Chapter 2

I wake to the sound of silence. I look at the hotel alarm clock beside the bed and scowl. I could have sworn I set it. I've slept in a whole extra hour. I reach up to check what time it's set for. The arm resting over my bare waist tightens and pulls me close to his body. Jack's lips kiss the back of my neck making me smile.

"Hmm, morning" his voice is muffled. I squeeze the hand that is resting on my stomach and I roll over to face him. A soft brush of lips turns more intense. I pull away smiling.

"I'm going to go get some of my things from 'the house' soon" I tell him. I always say 'the house' and never 'home'. I can't bring myself to call it 'home'. "I thought I'd have a shower first" I say sliding out of bed. He smiles and nods; his fingers still lingering with my own. "You want to join me?" I ask impishly. His eyes widen at the suggestion and he grins getting up and following me into the ensuite. I keep thinking that I'll be court marshaled for this. It's been ten years since we've worked together; even longer since the frat regulations have actually been valid. There's nothing wrong with us being together aside from the obvious fact that I'm married to another man but that doesn't matter to me.

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It's quarter past four when I finally get to 'the house'. I climb out of the taxi and wonder up to the front door, looking ridiculous in a pair of Jacks cargo's and the SGC uniform issue black shirt I was surprised he still had. I open the door and am greeted by the ecstatic Maltese puppy he bought me for our anniversary a month ago. The anniversary I didn't want to celebrate but he insisted on. It's an annoying dog but cute none the less. She runs circles round my legs and jumps up for a pat. I almost trip over her as I take her to the kitchen to give her some food and water. The irritating sound of the connecting door to the dinning room opening makes my skin crawl.

"Where were you?" he asks abruptly

"I told you I wasn't coming home" I shrug tossing the empty dog food can into the bin. He nods his head opening the fridge door for a beer. "What happened to Vanessa?" I ask washing the spoon I'd used to serve the dogs food.

"Her boyfriend called; who is he?" he orders and I shake my head at him

"Who is who?" I toy with him and I can see his forehead creasing in anger

"Those aren't your clothes Samantha" he points out popping open the beer bottle and having a mouthful

"You're right" I grin pushing past him and heading to the spare bedroom

"Don't walk away from me!" he snaps and I clench my teeth

"Don't yell at me!" I snap back "I'm getting changed" I say as I unlock the deadbolt on the spare bedroom door. I don't need the lock but have it in case he comes home drunk and acting foolishly. I leave the door open with the keys in the lock as I open my cupboard door and pull out a ready packed suitcase. I won't be here long. I pull the laptop charger out of the wall and pack my laptop in its bag.

"You slept with him, who ever he is" he states from the doorway

"Don't play the jealous spouse role, if anyone should play that role it's me!" I shout. He glares at me as he fiddles with the door handle. I ignore him as I open the bottom desk draw and pull out the divorce papers. I and hand them to him telling him to sign. He slams the folder down on the desk and kicks the door shut behind him.

"You're my wife Samantha, I'm not giving you up" he says advancing over to me

"You either sign or I take you to court, don't think I won't" I warn and he sighs seemingly defeated.

"You smell like sex, you dirty slut" he hisses and I bring my hand up and slap him. His blood boils and he push's his body weight on top of me as he drives me onto the bed. He tries to restrain my arms and bring my knee hard up between his legs. He crumples to the side and I push past grabbing my things and heading for the door. My knee aches from colliding with a hard surface. He's laughing at me; he's wearing a cup. I try to open the door; it's locked. He locked it. He planned this. I shiver at the distantly familiar sound of a zatniktel being opened.

"Where did you get that?" I ask as I turn around and face the man holding me at gunpoint. He smiles and I drop to the floor as he fires the zat and my body is stunned by electricity running through it. I black out.


	3. Chapter 3

"So tell us again why you didn't show for the reunion last night Daniel?" Jack grinned leaning back in the restaurant chair

"Um, my flight was delayed. What's your excuse?" Daniel asked cunningly as he read the menu

"I don't have an excuse, I attended" he said proudly and Daniel looked up wide eyed

"That I can't believe!" he stated and turned to Teal'c who nodded his head

"O'Neill did indeed attend the SGC ten year reunion, Daniel Jackson" he said plainly

"I stand corrected. Well _sit_" he smiled "when's Sam getting here? She _is_ coming to meet us isn't she?" Daniel asked closing his menu

"Yeah she's just a little late" Jack nodded

"Sam late! That's un-like her" Daniel added "how is she? I mean I don't expect you to have kept up contact with her, I haven't and last I heard you two have been fighting but how did she seem last night? Was she there?" Daniel asked and had a mouthful of his coffee

"Um she's miserable, what do you mean we've been fighting?" Jack asked creasing his brow

"well Jack, you don't have to be a genius to see that there is some serious tension between you and you have avoided each other for what a decade!" he explained "why is she miserable? Isn't she happily married to that Brandon guy?"

"Bradley" he corrected "married yes but I wouldn't put my money on happily, they're splitting up" he explained

"I could have sworn his name was Brandon. They've been married for nine years, what happened?" he asked amazed by the news

"His name is in fact Brian, Daniel Jackson" Teal'c corrected them both

"Eh, close enough" Jack shrugged

"Jack!" Daniel caught his attention

"Brian's been cheating on her!" Jack snapped back

"Really? Who told you this?" Daniel asked accusingly

"Sam"

"_Sam_ told you this?" Daniel coughed

"Yes Daniel, is it _that_ hard to believe that Sam would confide in me?" Jack glared at him

"YES!"

"Oh thanks Daniel, you're a _real_ comforting person" Jack shook his head at him

"Ok what did she say?" Daniel relaxed a bit

"Just that he's been cheating on her for a few years and she's tried for a divorce but he wouldn't sign, she's been sleeping in the spare bed room. Why do you care?"

"She's my friend Jack! I'm allowed to be worried about her"

"Yeah when was the last time you spoke to that friend?" Jack accused

"I admit I haven't spoken to her in over a year but when was the last time _you _spoke to her before the reunion?"

"It's… been a while" he admitted "Teal'c?" he asked open handed

"Many years have passed since I have spoken with Samantha Carter" Teal'c nodded

"We're good friends" Daniel commented as Jack took out his mobile and started dialing

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Sam, she should have been here an hour ago?" Jack explained as he listened to the phone ring and Daniel snatched it out of his hand

"Daniel!" Jack yelled wide eyed

"I want to talk to her" Daniel shrugged as Teal'c placed a strong arm across Jack's chest to keep him from attacking Daniel

"_Hello" _a low voice greeted Daniel

"_Hi…Brian…is Sam there? She was meant to meet up with her old team mates for dinner" _he smiled despite the fact that Brian obviously couldn't see

"_Samantha is sleeping, she has not been feeling well and has been in bed all day" _Brian lied through his teeth

"_Well when she wakes up could you tell her Daniel and the gang said hi?" _Daniel asked innocently

"_Will do"_ Brian replied hanging up. Daniel ended the call and handed Jack his mobile

"That's a bummer, I was hoping I'd see her before I had to go back tomorrow" Daniel sighed

"What did she say?" Jack asked worried

"It was Brian, Sam's sick and hasn't been up all day" he explained and Jack pushed his chair back standing up

"Come on, we're leaving" Jack ushered for them to stand up

"Jack, just because Sam can't make it doesn't mean we can't still stay here" Daniel remained seated

"We're going to Sam's. Get up, I don't buy it." Jack said pulling him up and then tossing a note on the table for the drinks

"You don't buy it?" Daniel asked confused

"No, lets go" Jack ordered and Daniel shrugged it off as he grabbed his jacket.

"Alright, I guess we're going to Sam's"


	4. Chapter 4

authors note: sorry to the faint hearted, this chapter is a bit bloody (i guess) it felt wierd writing it in first person.

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"Will do" my husband says before hanging up and placing the phone down on the bedside table. He is sitting on the edge of the bed contemplating something. I'm scared of what might be going on inside his mind. Does he have a mind? Does he even have a conscience? He goes to pick up something out off of his tray but decides against it. My famous husband the surgeon; a complete nutcase! I don't know how he got into the air force, or even got his medical license for that matter. Famous? My husbands only famous as the first surgeon to ever operate on an Asguard brain. Thor was going to get a new body but complications sped up the tumors growth and Brian had to remove it to save him. How an Asguard ever got a brain tumor is beyond me.

"Brian, stop this" I snap. He smiles gently placing his hand on my bound and bruised ankle.

"Why? Because your beloved team aren't coming to save you? Because your boyfriend thinks you're ill?" he asks shifting along the bed to get closer to my face. His hand slides along my calf; I cringe at the feel of his caress. "I should have known it was him, all those years working together, seeing each other fight, dealing with each others problems and heartaches, surviving together. All those years and you never hooked up? Not until now" he babbles

"I was with him this morning, he'll know your lying" I point out. Should I have said that?

"Don't worry, I'll handle him" he smiles shifting closer and placing his hand on my hip

"What do you plan on doing?" I ask as my lungs seize up in panic

"I'm just going to invite him in for tea or coffee or whatever it is he drinks"

"You're going to drug him" I say realizing "you're going to kill him aren't you?"

"Murder is im-moral" he explains as he pulls a morphine shot out of his bag

"I seriously doubt your morality" I sneer and look over to where the window would be if this room still had a window.

"Honey that hurt" he laughs "don't worry I'm not stupid enough to try killing him. No-one gets away with murder"

"But you think you'll get away with this" I glare at him

"There's no crime here, there is nothing illegal about a little SNM in a married couple's bedroom" he grins. My stomach churns at the thought of what he just said. I'm going to be sick.

"It's a crime if I don't want to be here" I tell him hoping to knock some sense into him

"Oh you _want_ to be here" he assures me

"Like HELL I do!"

"You can leave whenever you like; all you have to do is say please" he says placing his hand on my shoulder "give up and _beg_ me to let you go"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Sorry Sam, I guess we will just have to continue on with this" he sighs shaking his head

"Brian you're no better than the Goa'uld, you power hungry son of a bitch" I spit but he ignores me. I take that back, personality wise he _is_ a Goa'uld

"Quite a mouth on you when you're angry" he mutters picking up the instrument he was contemplating on. I look away as he slices the black shirt with the scalpel and Jacks shirt falls limp.

"Sam I don't want to do this" he apologizes and then swallows before placing pressure on the blade. The blade slices along my rib, piercing the flesh. I writhe in pain, biting my lip. The blood spills onto the plastic beneath me.

"Don't move Sam!" he snaps. This is inhumane. How can he do this? I gasp as he takes the scalpel away. He puts the scalpel down on the tray and picks up a gauze bandage. He places pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. Once the blood stops or at least slows enough; he starts stitching the wound. No anesthetic, each stitch sends a shoot of pain across my abdomen. I flinch for every stitch. He finishes the stitching and puts his instruments down.

"Neither of us wants this to continue Samantha. You know how to stop this" he offers I inhale a breath to painful to breathe

"Burn in hell Brian" intense hatred in my tone

"Very well" he sighs picking up a clean scalpel. He switches hands to cut on the other side. I close my eyes anticipating the pain. Tears break through that I wish he couldn't see. He doesn't cut. Is he showing mercy? A sound reaches my ears. It's better than mercy. Saved by the bell. Jack is here.

I go to scream out to Jack but Brian slams his hand over my mouth and picks up the morphine shot. He injects it in my neck. The pain subsides and my vision blurs. For the second time today, I black out.

Please? Jack find me.

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hope you dont hate me too much. gawd i'm evil.

please tell me what you thought.

aka reviews much apreciated


	5. Chapter 5

"This asshole better open up soon or I'll…" Jack was cut off by the click of a lock being opened. The door swings open and Brian stands in front of Daniel in the door way.

"She's not here" Brian sighs and Daniel looks at him curiously

"On the phone you said she was asleep?" Daniel asks and Jack rolls his eyes. '_Duh he lied'_ Jack thinks

"You're Daniel I presume?" he asks with an unusual smile as he offers his hand

"Yeah" Daniel replies cautiously as he shakes it. Brian stands aside as he lets the three of them in and then closes the door behind them

"Sam's not here, she ah didn't come home last night. Can I get you something to drink?" he asks as they enter the kitchen

"We're fine" Jack says sternly as he surveys the room, assessing the situation.

"Um she didn't come home? Is that normal?" Daniel asks sitting on a stool

"It's… not uncommon, my wife and I don't exactly see eye to eye anymore and she often spends the night at a hotel in town. I normally wouldn't worry but I called the hotel and they said she had reserved a room but hadn't checked in." he explains and Daniel nods seemingly not worried but his friends know his looks far too well and it is obvious he is alarmed by this.

"And you told me she was sick because you were… embarrassed?" Daniel asks typically placing his forefinger and thumb to his lips as a sign of his being in thought

"My marriage is falling apart, it's not a fact you want the whole world to know" Brian's excuse agitates Jack and he starts opening and closing his fists to keep himself preoccupied.

"Is it not also true that you have dishonored your marriage by committing adultery?" Teal'c asks also assessing the situation

"Who told you that?" Brian snaps at Teal'c and Teal'c seems unfazed by brains outburst

"Sam did" Daniel offers and Brian grimaces

"Did she tell you that she cheated too?" he asks almost laughing. Jack gulps at that and sticks his head out the door peering down the corridor. A light flickers through the gap underneath a closed door at the end of the corridor. He eases his way into the corridor and heads to the room.

"Where is he going?" Brian asks impatiently

"Probably to the bathroom" Daniel suggests "what do you mean she cheated?"

"What do I have to do, spell it out for you? She slept with another man!" he yells irrationally

"Okay, I don't think yelling is going to solve anything" Daniel states as he moves his stool back a bit

"Sorry. I just know that she slept with someone last night, I just have a feeling." He tries to explain

"Well a 'feeling' is hardly grounds for irrational behaviour but I understand. Personally I don't think Sam would act that rashly…"

"Ah protecting her already" Brian sneers

"… but for arguments sake, let's say she did cheat. Do you think her actions were unprecedented?" Daniel finishes. Brian bites his lip and moves over to the opposite side of the kitchen as he begins pacing in thought. Daniel attempts to walk over to Brian but Brian rips open a draw and pulls a pistol out and aims it at him.

"Whoa Brian, think rationally here. Do you think it's wise to be threatening anyone right now?"

"Oh shut up! You stole my wife away from me! You slept with my wife and took her from me! I want her back!" his hand is shaking as he holds the gun. Teal'c draws a Zat out of a holster. Now that the stargate program was public knowledge, all weaponry had gone public also but few people had registered Zat's and Teal'c was one of those few. Jack hears the commotion and runs into the kitchen with a handgun drawn.

"Brian, I didn't sleep with your wife. I only got to Washington this morning" Daniel explains "Sam and I are purely friends, I assure you" Daniel tries calming the hysterical man but Brian doesn't buy the truth. '_Samantha confirmed my theory, she slept with him I know it' _he thinks.

"Brian" Jack calls catching his attention. It is obvious to jack that Brian wasn't buying the story, someone has to settle this "Daniel didn't sleep with Sam." he states "if he did I would be doing exactly what you are. But Daniel didn't sleep with her, I did"

Daniels eyes widen so far that his eyelashes blend with his eyebrows. Teal'c merely raises an eyebrow as he stands attentively. Brian however drops his weapon. He was wrong, he hates that. He had lost control, he loathes that.

"Of course, you two danced last night for Christ sake. You looked awkward together but I should have seen past that"

"Brian where's Sam?" Daniel asks hoping in this state he might give something up

"Um…um I don't know" he trembles "I lost her, I couldn't save her" he mutters disorientated

"Brian where is she?" Jack yells panicked

"You have her! She was with you and she didn't come home!" he yells "She didn't come home to me. I've lost her haven't I?" he asks Daniel who is now taking his weapon well away from him

"Daniel he's lost the plot, I searched the house it's clean but I cant get into one of the rooms it's dead bolted" Jack explains "I'm going to go see if I can find something to break it open, T you coming?" he asks and Teal'c bows his head in agreement

"Don't go in there!" Brian yells, panic in his tone "it's Sam's room, she has the key. I don't know why she doesn't trust me, I would never hurt her. Don't break the door, she'll be mad"

Jack smiles. '_Bingo, she's in there'_. Jack and Teal'c quickly go out to the car and return 'prepared' to get the door open. The door unlocks with a 'flash'. Jack kicks the door open and it swings freely. He stares at the bed, shocked. Teal'c studies Jack uncertain. Jacks armed hand drops to his side. Daniel rushes over.

"What is it?" he asks running up to them. Jack turns to Daniel and draws in a deep breath. He stands aside and Daniel enters the room. He walks solemnly up to the bed and picks up the file resting on top of the suit case. He opens it to see the divorce papers. Sam's signature stares up at him next to the unsigned spot.

"She was planning on getting a quick divorce and running away" he sighs as Brian enters the room.

"Not _was_, Daniel" Jack warns and takes the file off of him handing it to Brian. Teal'c takes a pen out of his pocket and hands it to Brian. Brian is reluctant to sign but three military men watching him make him anxious. Teal'c pulls his best intimidation tactic of a fierce stare and Brian sighs as he signs the divorce papers.

"There it's official, she's not my wife anymore" he mutters giving back the file folder "I'll wait by the phone for if she calls" he offers and Daniel nods as he directs his friends out of the empty room. Jack seems defeated as they leave. She wasn't there, Brian didn't have her. The only plausible explanation was that she had been in a car accident on the way here. He got Goosebumps at the thought.

"O'Neill" Brian calls and Jack turns towards him "when you find her, treat her right" he suggests and Jack nods "just promise me you'll find her, safe" he requests and Jack turns back towards the car to leave with Daniel and Teal'c.

Inside the car Daniel turns to Jack after hanging up his mobile.

"Good news is she hasn't been in a car accident" he smiles

"It is possible Samantha Carter has visited a former member of the SGC" Teal'c suggests

"A lot of people are in town because of the reunion" Daniel agrees "how many were there?" he asks Jack

"A good 7 maybe 8 hundred people" Jack says looking out the window as Teal'c drives

"Let's start with immediate friends and Family" Daniel suggests as he starts going through his list of phone numbers "this may take a while" he grimaces at his phone

Brian watches from his doorway as Sam's former SG1 comrades drive off. He smiles gleefully once they're out of sight.

"Don't you just LOVE Murphy's law" he grins as he heads back inside, off to go wake Sam.


	6. Chapter 6

I hear a soft snap just before the chemical smell hits my nose and I wake. Brian sits beside me. He places something in the bin and then he opens up his bag again. Jack hadn't found me. How could he? No one knew that the stairs to the attic came out of the manhole in the spare bedroom it was two years before Brian found it while trying to find out where the garage light switch was. Since then he has filled the attic up with old furniture and useless items that just needed to be stored somewhere. This bed sits near a window that has been boarded up. You used to be able to see the street out front and the street could see you. Now there is just wood. Brian wipes the blood off me with an alcohol swab. At some point while I slept, he changed the plastic beneath me and the blood is gone.

"How long have I been here?" I ask noticing that no light is coming through the spaces between the boards on the window. Brian briefly glances at his watch

"Five hours" he sighs as he finishes cleaning up the blood and tossing the used swab.

"It's ten o'clock?" I ask trying to get my spinning head to focus

"Close enough" he smiles and I look away from him

"How long do you intend to keep this up?" I ask the boarded window

"As long as it takes" he states as he opens the bag once again. It's such a cliché that this doctor has his own black bag of surgical instruments. Jack would laugh, he wouldn't if he saw me but still. I wish Jack were here. I was barely able to leave the bed today. I shouldn't have left. I should have waited until Brian left for work tomorrow. I should have stayed in the comfort of Jacks embrace. How long could we have stayed in that bed? With room service we could have stayed as long as we wanted. I needed clothing but I wouldn't mind wondering around the hotel room in just a nightgown. Jack wouldn't have minded.

"You're smiling?" Brian sounds genuinely hurt by this "what are you thinking about? O'Neill?" he asks hostile tone.

"Our wedding" I reply hoping he would buy it. Brian smiles. Nice save.

"Best thing I ever did was propose to you" he sighs

"Worst thing I ever did was accept" I laugh. He frowns at me

"Now Sam, you don't really mean that" he shakes his head disapprovingly

"Oh I think I do"

"I think the worst thing you ever did was go to that reunion" he mutters

"You're wrong about that, going there and speaking to Jack was the BEST thing" I assure him

"We both know the best thing you ever did was join the stargate program" he tries to calm himself

"Yeah if I hadn't, I never would have met Jack" I push his buttons

"Sam, you're only aggravating me," he warns

"I noticed" I smile

"I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU SAMANTHA!" he yells

"THEN DON'T!" I yell back. Maybe the neighbors can here us "stop this insanity Brian, let me go" I try. He pays no attention

"Do you remember our third anniversary?" he asks placing the bag on the bed

"Yeah, we spent a weekend in Paris" I reply watching him search through the bag. He is always meticulous; his bag would never be messy. Whatever he is searching for, isn't really there. This is an intimidation tactic.

"We were meant to spend an entire week there" he sighs "we had a fight and came back early"

"You asked me to quit my job and stay at home as your 'happy homemaker'" I remind him

"You couldn't separate yourself from your job, We barely ever saw each other" he tells me as he finally removes the item he has been searching for.

"Brian, you have known from day one that my work comes first for me. You were supposed to have understood that and accepted it. that's half the reason I married you" I point out frustrated

"I chose you as a challenge. I was supposed to help you put some distance between your personal life and work life. I almost completely gave up hope when you refused to settle down. I persisted though and I practiced with other women. I found this was the best method to controlling their joyless life styles. I never wanted to go this far but you've pushed me to this point Samantha, this is the only way" he explains. I'm a project! His personal challenge!

"Brian if I ever get the upper hand on you, I swear I'm going to castrate you" this hits a nerve. His face contorts in anger. He puts the bandage away and picks up a scalpel. He changes the blade. I squirm trying to pull away. He wraps an arm around my waist and jolts me to his side, sending a surge of pain through my wound. He holds me in place. I clench my teeth anticipating the pain. His steady hand slices the blade through me. Excruciating pain, but I'm grateful the blade is sharp. I wouldn't be able to handle a blunt knife tearing its way through my flesh. These wounds probably won't scar. I think that's the point. He would have the patience to keep me here as long as I needed for my wounds to heal. No scaring means no proof and he could claim I was insane. The only person in the whole world who knows for a fact that I'm sane is Jack and Brian could just claim his judgment was clouded by the fact that he had feelings for me. That's IF he doesn't kill me. Would he? He said he would never kill someone for fear of getting caught but he has created an alibi by now for sure. I wonder how many women he's done this to. Practice girls.

Brain starts stitching, aggravating the wound. I wonder what he meant by best method. Does this method work? Is this going to have some sort of psychological effect on me that will break me? I've endured torture before but how long would I be able to withstand this? It's only the second cut and I'm already thinking about giving in. Brian cleans the blood again, keeping everything sterile and preventing infection. He should be wearing gloves but then he wouldn't be able to touch.

"All done" he chimes as though this was just a normal procedure. He smiles at me and walks over to a table where a wine bottle is chilling. He picks up a corkscrew and opens the bottle. He pours only one glass and takes a mouthful. He slips the corkscrew into his chest pocket and walks the few steps back, grinning. He lowers the glass to my lips. I'm thirsty but I refuse to drink. He shrugs it off and places the glass beside the bed.

"Brian" I croak as a swallow back the pain along my ribs

"Yes Sam?" he asks leaning closer

"I'm… I'm…" I choke and he brings his ear next to my mouth to hear me "I'm going to kill you" I swear and then smack my head against his temple. He collapses on top of me. Have I killed him? He lays lifeless but is still breathing. Not dead but not conscious. I'm trapped beneath the unconscious body of my psychotic husband, while my hands and feet are bound and tied to the bed. Smart move Sam. I scream out for help, hoping that someone will hear me before my screams wake Brian. I scream for a while, helplessly. Brian's wristwatch tells me that I've been screaming out for help for twenty minutes. No one has attempted to respond. My husband will only be unconscious for a limited amount of time; I have to find a way out of this before that time runs out.

I try pulling my hands free from the cable ties but they cut into my wrists, same with my ankles. The plastic won't stretch and the clasps won't break. I look to my husband for help. I open his chest pocket with my chin and thank my lucky stars. The corkscrew sits peacefully in his pocket. I can just get it out with my teeth. I pull it out carefully and hold it steady as I prepare for a risky move. If I screw up, I won't get free. If I make this, I will get free easily. I hold the corkscrew between my teeth and flick my head back as I throw the corkscrew up to my tied right hand. By some miracle I catch it, only lightly piercing the skin on my fingertip. A miniscule amount of blood falls from my finger. I don't care. I take the sharp edge of the cork screw and pock holes in the cable tie. I poke holes until the cable tie snaps. The happiest feeling in the whole world is the feeling of that cable tie snapping. I reach over and break the tie on my other wrist. I ease Brian off of me and sit up right. A searing pain spreads across my abdomen. I break my ankles free and ease off of the bed. My feet touch the floor but don't feel it. They're numb. I try to walk but hit the floor instead. I lay motionless for a moment while the circulation gets back to my feet. And with the pins and needles comes feeling. I pick up a morphine shot and modally the levels before injecting it into my system. The pain along my chest subsides. I feel dizzy but I at least can walk without the pain. I reach the manhole. It's locked. 'GIVE ME A BREAK!' I yell and then slam my foot down on the manhole door. The gyprock breaks and I fall through, crash landing in my closet. The morphine cant numb this pain and I cry out as a surge of pain goes through me. I manage to pull myself up and start my search for the phone. I'm frozen by the faint sound of Brian moaning. He's awake. In a panic I close the closet doors and pull the curtain rod down. I thread the rod through the handles and pin it in position, locking the closet door shut. I take what strength I have and run for the kitchen with it. I grab the phone and frantically dial the only number that comes to mind. The rings are few before I hear Daniel's voice.

"Hello" he greets plainly

"Daniel, it's Sa…" the line goes dead. I try calling again but there's no dial tone.

"Brian you son of a bitch!" I curse. He's cut the power. My mobile's in my suitcase in my bedroom. I carefully return to the spare bedroom in the dark. I pull the Mobile out and try turning it on but the battery has been removed. Probably a precaution he took ages ago. I grab the suitcase and laptop off the bed. Fuck where's the file? A loud bang on the cupboard door. I take the suitcase and laptop out of the room. The spare bedroom door's been broken. My pulse is racing. I throw on a coat over the cut up, blood stained shirt as I run for the door. The doors locked. I leave the suitcase and laptop by the door as I run to the kitchen for the keys. I'm getting out of here now. I'm NOT coming back. I grab the keys off the hook and my finger lightly passes over the keys to the convertible. I smile as I pick up the keys. I found my transport out of here.

I turn to run back to the front door through the darkness but a light stops me. In an instant the room lights up with the brilliant luminescent blue glow of Zat fire.


	7. Chapter 7

"uh Jack" Daniel said tapping Jacks arm as Jack was interrogating a scientist who used to have a crush on Sam back when they still worked at the SGC.

"Give me a minute Daniel" Jack said brushing him off and leaning in on the guy

"O'Neill, I honestly haven't seen her. I saw her at the reunion and she looked pretty glum but that's all I've seen of her, sorry" the scientist explained

"Jack your going to want to hear this" Daniel warned and this caught his attention

"What is it?" he asked standing upright

"Someone just called me, my phone recognized it as Sam's home number and I'm fairly sure it was Sam's voice I heard" Daniel explained still staring at the number on his screen.

"Come on Teal'c" Jack called out "we're going to Brian's" he said ushering the two of them towards the car

"Why are we returning to visit Brian?" Teal'c asked as he buckled up his seat belt and Daniel did the same nervously

"Because I'm going to kill that lying son of a …" the car turned around the corner with a screech as Jack sped off.

"Brian you asshole!" I yell as the electricity running through my body from the Zat fire subsides. Brian sort of wobbles over to my side and holds the Zat in my view.

"Get up" he orders as he nudges me with his foot.

"Fuck off" I groan at him as I roll over and hold my hand against my head trying to get my eyes to focus. The morphine I injected into my system was apparently stronger than I had expected. Brian grits his teeth and then digs his hand into my hair and pulls me up onto my feet. As he lets go of my hair, I swing my foot down underneath him and trip him up. The drugs make me off balance and I fall down with him and the thump to my back sends searing pain through me. Brian rolls over and with a furious swing he pounds a fist against my ribs and I choke on my scream as the punch both winds me and sends excruciating pain through my ribs. Every breath after that is hard against the pain.

"You stupid bitch" Brian curses at me as he climbs up onto his feet. Only as he goes to aim at me does he realize that he has lost the Zat in the fall. He looks around but can't see anything through the darkness. In reaction to this, he grabs a carving knife out of the draw beside him. Still reeling from the blow to the chest, I don't notice his change of weapon until he has the blade pressed against my neck. Brian brings me close to him as he gently pushes the blade against my collarbone.

"I could slice along your collarbone here" Brian suggests or "I could…" he says as he moves the blade higher "slice straight through the larynx here. Your choice"

I involuntarily gulp and feel the pressure of the blade on my neck as I swallow. I don't reply and Brian pauses indecisive for a moment. A long moment that drags on as he does nothing. For a second I think he is having second thoughts but then I realize what he is plotting when I feel his breath on my lips and his hand on the zip of Jacks pants.

"Brian don't" I begin but he cuts me off with a cold kiss that makes me feel nauseous. He pushes the pants out of the way and starts unzipping his own as he holds me down with his weight and the pressure of the knife. His lips leave mine as he feels uncomfortable with me not being responsive. I don't say the damning words that burn inside. Instead I remained silent as he focuses his attention on removing the clothing he needs to move. I close my eyes in relief when I feel the sensation of the zat against my fingertips.

"Brian I want you to know something" I croak through the pain and catch his attention "when I said I was going to kill you, I damn well meant it" with that I fire the Zat.

"Jack, for life of me, if you don't slow down I'm going to pull the emergency break on you" Daniel demands as they take yet another sharp turn that almost flips the car over.

"Go ahead Danny" he says as he slams on the brakes "we're here" he announces as he climbs out of the car and runs up to the front door. He glances at the front door and makes a safe assumption that the dead bolts not on. Cunningly he slams his whole body weight against the door and the lock rips out of the wall as the door swings open.

"Brian, where the hell is she!" Jack calls as he walks into the blackness and tries a light switch that doesn't work.

"In here" I call from the kitchen as I recognize Jack's wonderful voice. He runs into the kitchen but can't see anything.

"Teal'c, get a light on" Jack calls out to him as he carefully walks up to her and almost trips on Brian's lifeless body. He holds his breath as he nudges the body.

"He's not dead, just sedated with a zat shot and a heavy dose of morphine. He won't wake up for a while though" I smile softly but no-one can see it in the darkness. I push the zat away from me and I feel Jack's understanding hand brush my own as he takes the zat out of my hand.

"What ha…" he starts to ask me what had happened when the lights come on. The first thing he spots is the coat loosely hanging off my shoulders as I lean against the bench. My visions blurry but I notice his wide eyed glance and I close the coat to cover myself.

"I saw blood Sam, whose blood?" he asks stepping over Brian and standing close to me

"mine" I admit as he opens the coat to have a look at the wounds "bastard pulled a stitch" I try to Joke but it comes out painfully and just sounds heartbreaking. The blood is still flowing out of the wound where the stitches popped and it's making me feel woozy.

"I'm going to kill him, do you mind?" he asks gently hugging me and carefully avoiding hurting me.

"I've got dibs" I smile through tears that fall at the feel off his comforting embrace. I probably would have been crying had it been anybody else but the fact that it's him makes it every bit better. He softly kisses me on the forehead and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. I look up at him and I can barely see straight. My vision seems to be getting worse as I start seeing double.

"Sam?" he asks worried as he sees the look of fear in me.

"Jack, you need to get me to the hospital" I explain as I promptly pass out in his arms.

"Teal'c I need you to take care of this guy for me" Jack calls out as he picks me up in his arms "Daniel, start up the car. We're going to the hospital"

----------------------------------

AN: he he. who says Jack has to be the hero. Sam can help herself. good to have a shoulder to cry on though huh.grins as she watches Jack carry Sam to safety

please r+r. the last reviews were awesome and very incouraging. i wrote this in like a half hour tops.


	8. Chapter 8

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Jack at my side. He's reading a magazine, a fishing magazine. I smile as he adjusts the distance between him and the magazine so he can read it better. He flips the page and admires the pictures.

"Hey" I mutter smiling as I slide up in my hospital bed; a pain in my chest makes it difficult to breathe. He jumps and tosses the magazine onto the floor as he slides forward.

"Hey" he says smiling as he takes my hand in his own "how you feeling?"

"Sore" I smile and then notice the cast on my wrist and frown at it. Jack notices my confusion

"You fractured your wrist" he explains and I nod

"I didn't even notice" I say examining the cast

"Well you were kind of drugged, I doubt you would have noticed much at all" he smiles "you fractured a rib as well"

"I noticed that" I say as the pain in my chest continues with each breath "how long have I been out for?" I ask

"16 hours" he says massaging my good wrist

"I haven't eaten since the reunion" I comment as I eye the bowl of red Jello "not particularly appetizing" I say bringing his attention to the Jello

"Don't worry, they're bringing you a blue one" he reassures me and I smile.

"the doctors tell me that you could have died" he mutters squeezing my hand "the adrenaline was keeping you here" he says staring at my face and searching "you had me worried Sam" he says before lightly kissing the back of my hand. I stare at my hand, where he had kissed it, with uncertainty.

"Jack…" I begin as my thoughts race. Should I tell him my plan?

"Where's Brian?" I ask trying to act casual

"Air force office of special investigations has him in a holding cell" Jack explains "speaking of which, there is an AFOSI investigator here to ask questions"

"Oh joy" I mouth and drop my head onto the pillow behind me.

"Don't worry; he just wants to hear your side of the story. Brian's claiming innocence, no shocker there" he smiles but only for a moment before he frowns and he bites his lip. I can tell there is something he wants to say but can't find the words.

"Sam, did he…" he pauses and breathes deeply

"Rape me?" I help him along and he grimaces but nods "no" I explain and he sighs with relief "why?" I ask curiously. How could he have known what Brian had been trying to do before I shot him? What could have given him that idea? Was it the slashed shirt?

My wondering is stopped when Jack replies

"He's claiming that what he did was simple SNM and that you consented. He said that there was a safe word for if it got too rough and you wanted out" Jack explains and my heart stops for a second

"Jack, you should know something" I begin and his eyes widen

"It's not true?" he asks panicked

"Jack there _was_ a safe word, if you could call it that…"

"You used it?" he asks on the edge of his seat

"He said I could go whenever I wanted, he said he'd let me go when…" I pause as I hear a noise but quickly realize it was just a machine.

"What?" Jack asks trying to remain calm

"The safe word was please" I sigh and it hurts my ribs "I never said please" I mutter and Jack absorbs this andleans back in his chair. He stops to think and then just as he goes to speak someone knocks on the door.

"Come in" I call and an air force Major walks in

"Sorry to disturb you ma'am but I need to ask you some questions if you don't mind?"

"There's no need for questions, I don't want to press charges and I'd appreciate it if this was kept under a low profile" I explain to the Major and he looks amazed

"WHAT!" Jacks amazement is far more extreme than the Major's

"There _was_ a safe word" I tell the Major as I ignore Jack

"There is no way you wanted him to butcher you like that" Jack says standing up

"He's my husband Jack, I won't testify and you can't make me" I say trying to avoid his eyes

"Like hell I cant. He signed the divorce papers, you aren't married anymore" Jack yells

"Fuck the divorce Jack and fuck you" I say sternly as I lock eyes with him. It hurts to treat Jack so poorly but I need to do it.

"I trust you have what you need to write off this case Major?" I ask warning him to leave and he nods as he walks out

"Sam don't do this" Jack tries and fails "if this is anything it's Stockholm syndrome" Jack says gritting his teeth at his aggravation. My thoughts suddenly switch to those girls. Those 'practice girls' and Brian's method 'the best method'. Was it Stockholm syndrome that he had done to those girls?

"I know you Sam. you're not like that, you never would have agreed to this"

"_Do_ you know me? You haven't spoken to me in years. Even when we worked together you didn't bother to try to understand me" I say and he stops gritting his teeth. He looks regretful

"Sam…" he begins but I don't want to hear his excuse

"Get out" I snap at him and he remains still just staring at me. God I love his arrogance, there is nothing more I want to do right now then jump up and kiss him but I cant. It's killing me to hurt him like this but I have to. I have to do this. He opens his mouth to object but I just turn onto my side and ignore him. He waits for a moment and then walks out. Only as I hear the door close do I let the tears fall.

* * *

Daniel looks up as he hears Jack close the door. The look on Jacks face would make anyone think she had just died. Had she died to him?

"What's going on?" Daniel asks standing up and Jack just pushes past him "Jack" Daniel calls after him

"She wants it that way; she can have it that way. I'm going home" he calls back and then walks out of sight. Daniel exchanges a glance with Teal'c and then eases his way into Sam's room.

"Sam?" he asks as he approaches the bed

"Leave me alone Daniel" I say through tears

"Sam I cant even begin to imagine what you're going through right now but you know you can always talk to me if you need to" he says as he nears my face, I roll over and bring the blanket up high "I've missed you Sam, we haven't spoken in so long" he tries

"Leave it that way" I say harshly and then I bite down on the pillow to stop the wall I'm building from breaking.

"Cassie's in town, she's coming in soon" he says trying to ignore my resentment

"Tell her I don't want to see anyone" I instruct as I close my eyes and try to fall into oblivion.

* * *

Once I am finally released from the hospital. I find myself sitting in a car that has a familiar scent. It's a smell I love but am trying to ignore.

"Tell me again how this man can stoop you into believing that what he did to you was consensual but he can't pick you up from the hospital to drive you back to the torture?" Jack asks me callously as he focuses his attention on the road.

"I'd rather not talk, sir" I say and he flinches at the formality. He suddenly turns off the road and then parks the car. He remains silent, letting the moment drag on as the shock settles. He takes a deep breathe and he looks like he has calmed himself. He smashes his head against the steering wheel. I look at him alarmed and he takes a long drawn out breath. He smashes his head against the steering wheel three more times.

"Jack stop" he ignores me and starts pounding his fists on the horn repeatedly. People on the sidewalk are staring. I'm amazed the airbag hasn't deployed.

"For crying out loud Jack stop it" I say as I grab onto his wrists and stop his fit. He looks at me with the same distance he did through all those years of not speaking. Not loving. His eyes seem almost cold even though they are watery and in pain. If I lose that spark of hope we had the night of the reunion, I'll end it. End everything. I'll take a trip through the stargate and not return. I can't live on this earth with-out him. Why am I doing this? Is it worth the pain I could cause? It is Sam, you know it is.

Jack doesn't speak. he pulls back onto the road and drives on. His fit accomplishes nothing but it won't ever be forgotten. Soon enough we reach 'the house'. The house I can't call home, yet have decided to return to even after my narrow escape. I'm an idiot. But an idiot with a cause.

Brian is standing in the doorway. He's looking at me skeptically. He doesn't believe he has won his challenge. Time to make him believe it.

* * *

Jack watches from the car as Sam walks up to Brian. She smiles at him and then lightly kisses him on the cheek. He looks dumfounded. Jacks blood boils as he sees this. Brian places a hand on Sam's back and pulls her closer to him. He kisses herkeenly and she doesn't fight. Jack closes his eyes as he feels a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes well-up and he clenches his teeth.

"Bastard" Jack mutters under his breath as he watches them disappear into the house. Jack drives in solitude as he leaves them alone.

"She chose the man who cheated on her, held her captive and tortured her" he scowled "why aren't I waking up from this nightmare?" he asks himself.


	9. Chapter 9

I sit on the edge of the master bedroom bed and study the suitcase and laptop. I can here Brian in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. I could take what I need now and run. Would I make it to the door? I know he is watching me. He is still skeptical and I doubt he's going to let me out of his sight. I could run but I couldn't drive on these analgesics.

I hear the sink turn off and Brian switches off the bathroom light. I feel the weight in the bed shift as he crawls on top of it.

"What's wrong Samantha?" he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses the back of my neck. I grab his hand and squeeze it gently.

"Nothing" I tell him and he pulls me closer. I can't get the image of the look Jack gave me out of my head. I lie down and stare up at the ceiling as Brian turns the light off. The light coming through the windows looks like bars stretching across the ceiling. They are the bars of my cage, my prison. I can't really remember the last time I slept in this bed. It's even harder to remember a time when he was in it with me.

Under the covers, Brian rests his hand on my stomach and then slides it along my thigh and then slips his hand down the front of the pajama bottoms. The room suddenly feels cold and empty, I get a shiver and my stomach churns. I stop his hand.

"No strenuous activity" I remind him of the doctor's orders and Brian's hand retreats as he sighs and rolls away from me. "I'm just going to go take a painkiller" I mutter as I get up out of the bed "you want anything while I'm up?" I ask from the bed side

"Yeah, bring me a glass of wine. I want red wine not white and I'd like it warm, there should be a bottle in the pantry."

In the kitchen, I smile at the wine in the pantry. It's the same wine that was served at our wedding. His favorite wine. I poor a glass and then grab my medication. I don't need more yet but I take out three capsules, much more then my prescribed dosage but not an overdose. I snap the capsules and let the medication fall into the wine. Red wine would mask whatever taste the analgesics left. I stir it to make sure there is no texture in the wine. I clean up and then take the wine back to the room. From the door I see hi rummaging through my suitcase. What is he looking for?

"The reading light is in the front pocket" I say to him with a smirk as I walk in with his wine. He jumps up right and closes the suit case

"Thanks" he says holding up the small hand held reading lamp. He rolls over the bed and pulls a book out of his bedside draw. He pretends to start reading as I hand him the wine. I admire the book; it's upside down but is titled: the complete home guide to medication. Not exactly a bedtime story.

"You aren't having any?" he asks as he takes a mouth full

"Alcohol and medication" I say grimacing and he nods understanding. He finishes his wine quickly and then hands me the glass to take back to the kitchen. I take his glass to the kitchen, and wash it. When I return I find his book on the floor and him passed out on his pillow. He looks so cute when he's comatose.

* * *

Jack is fishing on his deck, when he hears Brian's convertible park in the drive way. He ignores the car and continues fishing. He hears footsteps on the planks of his deck that stop beside him. He recognizes the scent and closes his eyes and prays for strength.

"Where's your capture?" he asks with disdain

"Jack I don't have the patience for the scornful banter right now" I say as I hear Brian approaching behind me

"Ah here's the son of a bitch now" Jack smiles looking back at Brian

"Jack, I've only come to give you your clothes back" I explain as I hand him the neatly folded clothing

"Sorry about the shirt, I was a bit clumsy" Brian remarks with a snicker and Jack clenches his fist. I shoot him a warning glare and he looks at me curiously. He studies my feature's looking for the clue.

"We have to go now Jack. I'll miss you" I say to him as part of the show for Brian. Brian takes my arm and just to spite Jack, he places his hand on my ass as we walk away.

Jack's blood boils as he watches them walking away. As the car drives off, he goes to throw the clothing in the lake but he notices the clothing has an unusual square shape. He moves the shirt and finds a creamy coloured leather book. The book looks like an organizer or a daily planner. He opens the book and a note falls out. Picking up the note, he reads it:

Jack  
I need you to call the highlighted numbers.  
Tell them about Brian; tell them they don't have to worry about him.  
I can't let him get away with what he's done to them.  
I was never alone in this.  
I'm sorry I hurt you but I couldn't tell you what I was planning.  
You never would have let me do it.  
I had to make you hate me.  
But I never stopped loving you.  
I have _never_ stopped loving you as long as I've known you.  
Sam

Jack breathed deeply and then tucked the note into his pocket. He then opened the book and read the highlighted names. All women's names. Lisa, Tiffany, Annabelle, Michelle, Jasmine, Vanessa, Kyle, Tina, Jane etc. these names continued on. He stopped reading and started counting. When he finally finished the book he had counted 36 names. 36 tortured girls. 36 lives ruined. Jack was saddened by the names but I thought came to mind.

"36 penalties" he said with a grin

AN: okay so it's shorter than my last few. I promise to have more up soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Brian is at the super market with me when it happens.

He's leaning over the freezer and digging through the ice-cream for his favorite flavour. His favourite is butterscotch if I remember correctly. We had butterscotch ice-cream as a side for the wedding cake. He had organized the wedding, he organizes everything. He's found it. I can tell he has found it because his face has lit up just like it did when I accepted his proposal. Chocolate swirl? He hates chocolate!

"Um I think you grabbed the wrong ice-cream Hun" I smirk as I step closer

"This was Jasmine's favourite, she got me hooked on it" he explains as he places it in the basket I'm holding. I smile and we walk down the isle to the meat section.

"Brian" I ask as he is poking a couple of lamb cutlets to see if they had been watered down "who was your favourite?"

"Who?" he asks confused "favourite girl?" he asks wide-eyed and I nod as I get frustrated with him poking the cutlets and place them in the basket "um, who do you think?" he asks with a grin.

"Lisa. You were sleeping with her for two months straight" I offer and he laughs

"I didn't like Lisa, Lisa was just hard to control" he smirks "like a wild horse that refuses to be tamed, you just need to be persistent and ride it harder" he chuckles to himself

"That's vulgar Brian" I glare at him "and horses are tamed through man creating a bond with the animal and reinforcing the fact that they WON'T hurt them" I snap as I turn into the next isle. He grabs my fractured wrist and yanks it towards him sending a surge of pain through it.

"That's the fairytale Samantha" he insists as he presses me against the shelf filled with stationary "in order to tame, you have to show the animal who is boss. In a man's world, this is done through force" he whispers squeezing my throat with a strong, forceful grip. Why am I still here? I've gotten what I need, I've done what I've needed to do, I don't need to be here anymore. If I had left he would have come after me but he wouldn't have had a chance to get to me. Being here is dangerous, needlessly dangerous. He sees the fear in my eyes and releases his grip. He slides his hand to the back of my neck and holds me close as he slips his tongue inside my mouth. I can't move. I'm frozen. What do I do? I have to respond, he'll freak out if I'm not responsive. But I cant, I'm frozen stiff and I can't bring myself to be receptive.

He retreats.

"Sam?" he asks warningly as he traces his fingers along the back of my neck. I go to speak but I hear a voice call his name.

"Mr Carter?" the voice asks as a man approaches us. I recognize the man instantly as the AFOSI investigator from the hospital.

"Who's asking?" Brian asks turning towards him. I know what will happen here and I try to pull away from Brian but he has me pinned and his hand is strong against the back of my neck holding me there.

"I'm from the Air force office of special investigations, I'd like to have a word with you if I may?" he asks politely and then Brian lets go of my neck only to grab a pair of scissors off the Shelf and rip them from the package in time to push them against my throat and then use me as a shield. I instinctively bring my hands up to my throat and drop the basket as I try to pull the scissors away. The ice-cream opens and slides across the floor, smearing over the isle floor. The Major draws his gun.

"Mr. Carter, drop the weapon and step away from Mrs. Carter" he orders as he steadies his gun. Brian sneers at him and pushes the scissors harder, they prick the skin and a small amount of blood flows from the wound. I wince at the slight pain and then squeeze his hand, squashing his fingers against the scissor blades. His fingers stat to bleed and he pushes the scissors in deeper. Something snaps inside me and I rip the scissors away from him. The blood flows faster, soaking the white blouse I'm wearing. I stab the scissors between his legs and then I slap my hand against my neck and apply pressure against it as I try to slow the blood flow. Brian collapses and curls up in pain as I drop to the floor holding my throat. The Major calls for an ambulance and then walks over and cuffs Brian.

"Brian Carter, you are under arrest for the un-lawful abduction, rape and torture with intent to cause grievous harm of Dona Sage, Lisa Cain, Tiffany Youl, Annabelle Hughes, Michelle Vance, Jasmine Tailor, Hilary Rarnise, Kyle Jordan, Tina Garston, Jane Patterson, Maria Eric, Amanda Philips, Georgia Davies, Julie Sharp, Melissa Stuart, Tara Stott, Shae Cliff, Ellen Lions, Vanessa Lincoln, Magenta Gail, Lani chiffon, Suzanne Cherry, Felicity Hampton, Bernadette Read, Linda Nelson, Patricia Gallo, Sandy Wolf, Ashley Prince, Emily Lewis, Christine Dafoe, Maxine Dorling, Courtney Angus, Celeste White, Gina Faye, Kelly Chase, Lucy Bix and the un-lawful abduction and torture with intent to cause grievous harm of Samantha Carter. You have the right to remain silent…" he reads him his rights.

Brian will bleed more than me. The scissors are still inside so the blood isn't flowing too badly but he isn't in good shape. I stare at the scissors protruding out of him. And I thought comes to mind. A memory.

"_Brian if I ever get the upper hand on you, I swear I'm going to castrate you"_


	11. Chapter 11

"This sucks." she says to herself as she stares down at her feet, they swing freely in the breeze wishing to fly off with the wind. The shoes dangle from the straps un-naturally, though the weight distribution is off between the two as her right heel has snapped off. The waters below her are deep. She places the broken heel beside her. She stands and almost slips as she expects the broken heel to still be there. She steadies herself and moves away from the edge. She reaches over and grabs the broken heel and stands ready to drop it into the water. A creak in the floor boards behind her stops her.

"What do you want Jack" she asks gruffly

"Don't call me that. How did you know it was me?" he asks plainly

"Only you would approach with caution" she mutters wiping her eyes "well Daniel might but he passed out an hour ago" she says turning around. There's pain in her eyes that anyone else would freak out over but Jack is blind to her emotion.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks stuffing his hands in his pockets

"thinking" she smiles tossing the broken heel in her hand and trying to catch it like a baseball but it falls and hits the boards of the ferry that the reunion is being held on.

"What's that?" he asks confused

"My heel" she mumbles through tears "it broke"

"Ah, well that's no big deal" he says reassuringly "just take off your shoes and run around barefoot"

"I won't get in trouble?" she asks uncertain and Jack bends down and lightly kisses her on the forehead

"You'd be in trouble if you didn't" Jack jokes and she smiles as she sits down and takes off her heels and then jumps up, handing them to him. He smiles and then scruffs up her short blond hair. She raises her head and looks up at him with her bright blue eyes.

"Thanks dad" she smiles and then hugs him before running off to go play with the other children at the 20 year SGC reunion. Jack smiles at his daughter as she runs. An elegant hand wraps around him and then soft lips kiss the back of his neck.

"Hey I know you" he says spinning around to see his wife and then softly kissing her

"What's up with our little Cheyenne?" I ask as I look over at my daughter

"Cheyenne broke her shoe, she definitely takes after you" Jack grins as he holds up the broken heel.

"Hmm, her teacher says she is toping her class in science and that she has great potential. She apparently was the first to memorize all the planets and moons in this solar system" I add taking the shoes off him

"Great another scientist" Jack groans as he turns to look at his daughter

"It's not that bad, she's doing great in sport" I smile and Jack visually brightens

"She's the best batsmen on her minor-league baseball team" he chimes as he watches his daughter promptly outrun an older boy while he chases her. What his obsession with baseball is I will never know.

"Hmm" I sigh "I can't believe how fast she's growing up, she's almost eight" I explain and Jack pauses contemplating something.

"You know that means we've been married for nine years" Jack states and I looks at him curiously "you and … it, had been married for nine years"

"You're much nicer than …it, Jack" I smile as I hug him and rest my head on his shoulder

"Nicer?" he asks skeptically and I grin

"You top him in every way" I laugh. He always seems to make me laugh

"That sounds more like it" he says proudly as he wraps an arm around me and then lightly kisses the top of my head. I smile and turn in front of him as he slides his arms around my waist. We sway slightly in our step and fall in beat with the music as we dance slowly, our bodies hugging each others. Entranced in the moment, we ignore the children running around us. We kiss and I faintly hear the ewwing of the children in the background. After nine years of marriage and an ongoing love that has lasted the most part of 30 years, I still get a tingling feeling at the very smell of him. He still is the heart of my affections as I am his. And the best part is he still makes me smile, those real smiles that are only for him.

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so what do you think?

don't worry this isn't the end.

oh thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. where would this fic be with-out you?

probably trashed...oo  
O

please r and r


	12. Chapter 12

Samantha Carter-O'Neill woke up early one morning to the sweet scents of fresh air and coffee. Having been retired for quite some time now, she had finally begun to love the feeling of having nothing to do and nowhere to be. Obviously being retired never really meant she was retired; she was often called in to work on extraordinary assignments, as was Jack.

Most of their life however, was spent in Minnesota. At the cabin, spending their days together and trying to catch that one fish they had seen many years ago.

Today was no special day in particular. She woke up, kissed her husband, had breakfast and then sat down to read the paper. The front page was branded with an article about the X-303 recovery mission. Earths first manmade ship capable of space flight had been out of commission for many years now. An elite team had been assigned to repair the old thing and use it as a transport vessel for touring Earths solar system.

The next page was more familiar, it was an article about the return of college students from the Asguard University of bioinformatics and biomedical sciences. This article was more familiar as this meant that Cheyenne was back on earth and probably going to be spending the summer with her parents.

Other articles weren't quite so intriguing, so she skimmed through to the classifieds in the hopes of reading a cute article about newlyweds or a newborn baby. As she opened the classifieds, her attention was quickly drawn to a familiar name.

Brian.

The article was amongst the deaths and funerals. It read:

CARTER, Brian.

Service will be held at AIM church of Christianity.

12th of April at 11:30 am.

It probably wasn't the same Brian but there was something to it that made her curious. She scanned the rest of the paper and was surprised to find a short article on the death at the base of page 8.

Brian Carter was killed yesterday in Washington state prison. The 68 year old criminal had been sentenced to 36 consecutive life sentences without parole. At 10:13pm late last night, his body was found inside is cell by a prison guard. Authorities say that he had been murdered by his cellmate after having admitted the crimes he was being charged for. Two time murderer Mr. Patrick Wallace confessed early this morning to having killed the man saying "I did it cause what he did was wrong! No man should have the right to rape women! No man can get away with it, not 36 times over!" A preliminary investigation has shown that he bleed to death, after receiving 36 incisions along his ribcage. The instrument used appears to have been the sharpened edge of a basin tap handle.

"Watcha reading?" Jack asked peering over her shoulder at the newspaper and placing a mug of coffee in front of her.

"Oh nothing, just an unimportant story about Brian being killed by his inmate" she smiled at him and then kissed him before moving towards her coffee. He looked at her curiously, questioning her sanity.

"You alright?" he asked carefully and she frowned at him

"Jack" she said giving him a look that needed no words

"Gotcha" he laughed as he took the paper from her

"You didn't happen to notice the article on page 2 did you?" she asked with a grin and he tilted his eyebrow at her with a curious smile before opening the paper to that page. She watched his expression carefully and grinned when he jumped up from his chair, slammed the paper down and then put out his hand, beckoning her to stand up.

"What?" she asked laughing as she stood, holding his hand.

"Our daughters coming home Sam, this calls for a celebration!" he exclaimed and then pulled her into her arms.

And then they danced in an intimate silence, as he kissed her.

The end!

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Sorry, I seem to have forgotten to update this chapter. A thousand apologies.

This story is finally finished after such a long time waiting. Oh and the previous chapter really was the end. I guess this was just an epilogue.


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